Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize