did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
