Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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