I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize