What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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