Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
