i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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