Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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