What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
