i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
