So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
