i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
