They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
