Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
When are your genitals available?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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