He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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