I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
