he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
