I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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