Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
