We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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