I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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