But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
