2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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