Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize