i think my tv is drunk
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
