In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
