You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
