I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
