i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
