Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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