Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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