Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
