Pappa wants mamma naked
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Operation Purity has been aborted
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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