This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
