Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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