well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
