Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
