are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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