You work out of a Hotel?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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