I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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