I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
