I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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