why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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