Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Bring me that man meat
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
