She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize