We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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