Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
