I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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