Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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