Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
