i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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