Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
