It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
