i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
