Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
