Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize