OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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